Self-Worth…

How do you measure your self-worth?

As a child, I measured my self-worth by my grades and athletic performance.

In high-school more of the same with the addition of who I hung out with, how many girls were attracted to me, and how much money I made (more directly…what I could buy).

In college, my self-worth got tied up in whether I was playing on Saturdays and what I was going to do in the future.

After graduating my self-worth was almost completely determined by my job, how much I made, and where I was going.

I’m thankful for those years of my life as they made me who I am and I am always certain I could have done a few things differently.

Now, I’m not here to tell you what your self-worth should be measured by, determined with, or tied to but I know I would be a happier person if I realized a few things earlier on.

1.  Tieing self-worth to money, title, or societal accomplishments is a road to emptiness and discouragement.

2.  Tieing self-worth to athletic performance compared to others is a neverending rabbit hole. 

3.  Tieing self-worth to what others think is asking for failure.  

4.  Tieing self-worth to things that you have control over…now that’s an equation for a happy fulfilling life.

I was asked last week to make a list of what I tied my self-worth to and here’s what I came up with…

– The number of people I help live better lives.

– My wife and children knowing that I love them, am always available when they need me, and helping them be the best version of themselves.

–  Living with integrity and pursuing excellence.

–  Being genuine and caring.

–  Someone that can be counted on and trusted.

–  A rock for my family.  A source of inspiration and support for my siblings and parents.  

– Making the world a better place.   

I still have residual tugs to tie my self-worth to money, comparisons, and other wild goose chases.

I don’t know if those will ever go away.

I do know that the better I get at tying my self-worth to my new list the happier and more fulfilled I will be…

…and maybe, more importantly, the more good I will do and the more fun I will have.  

What do you want your self-worth to be tied to?​​


Brett “Healthy Self-Worth” Denton